Calvinball vs Clintonball

In a race where Clinton has no chance of winning according to the pre-determined rules of the game (the candidate with the most delegates wins), the only way to win is by changing the rules and turning the game into Clintonball.

calvinball

Calvinball Clintonball
Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game. The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone the player is in. Any player (Clinton or her surrogates) may declare a new rule or change the rules at any point in the game. The player does this quite vocally to anyone within earshot.
A player may use the Calvinball in any way the player see fit, from causal injury to self-reward. A player may use results and statistics in any way the player sees fit, without regard for logic or common sense.
Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any other abasement the rulee deems fit to impose on his opponent. “Kitchen sink rules,” without regard for collateral to her opponent or the party.
The Calvinball Field should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared spontaneously and inconsistently by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. The Clintonball Field should consiste of states, regions, or zones which are governed by a set of rules declared spontaneously and inconsistently, for example “only big states count” or “delegates don’t count, only popular vote” or when that doesn’t work only some vague “electability” counts. Other rules include “primaries count but caucuses don’t,” “only the right states count” (whatever those are), “small towns count, not big cities” (since those are elitist), “states with more electoral votes count” (despite the fact that any Democrat would win them).
Flags shall be named by players who shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag for particular moment in that particular game. Different rules apply to different states, so states neighboring a candidate’s state don’t count. Also states don’t count if they’re too white or too black.
Flags shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag for particular moment in that particular game. Players who haven’t shot a gun since they were 8, and who have lobbied all their lives for gun control, can pretend they’re all for guns and hunting. Beer drinking and bar shots are also encouraged if the camera is rolling.
Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. Rules agreed on in advance may be disregarded or even challenged in mid-game if they’re not favorable to the player (see “Florida,” “Michigan” and “delegate count”).
Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice. Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it advantages the opponent. Clintonball games may never be played the same way twice.